In coaching, you are meant to be present, listen without judgement and observe with “a child’s mind”.
That is the opposite of having the answers, asking leading questions to guide people and scoring people an how well they are doing.
But it is more than just asking questions, it is noticing things you did not expect and then being curious about them.
There is a tension though, where sometimes people want (and need) someone who understands some great tome of knowledge like how to use agentic AI, how to coordinate dependencies.
So part of being a coach, or any leader, is knowing which mindset/stance/approach/sensemaking attitude you are taking. The default might be hands on delivery to start and then delegating an hoping, but at some point presence and the ability to notice something unexpected becomes a core part of what you are doing.
At times it will be a process running in your brain like part of a core operating system. Apparently we all do that looking out for snakes and other dangers and react without thinking. So if you see a strange piece of hose in the bush you might jump back before pondering what it is. Wasted effort on a hose but really good if it was a snake that you weren’t expecting to see there.
In coaching and leadership though, you need to become more aware of what you are noticing and how you are reacting to it. And at times you need to deprioritise or pause other thinking processes to give more attention to observation.
On that basis then, if you are a great leader or great coach should be surprised by something recently. It could be that AI is cool, but better if you notice someone delivered something differently or suggested doing something differently.
What would you say if I asked you what surprised this week? Or today or this month?
The busier and more stressed you are the less you will notice. But the busier everyone else is the less they will notice too. So pausing to reflect and pausing to just see and hear are actions can make a real difference.
I was surprised recently in an interview when I answered a question really badly and missed following up the gap I left.
In part that is lack of preparation or practice – the more interviews you do the better you get at them. But it was also that I was part excited and part relaxing as things went well and part trying to be ready for many things.
The thing I was not doing, which I like to think I am good at is pausing to listen and following up as I communicate. Obviously it is good in an interview to pay attention and communicate well, but it is also important in the work I do every day.
In an interview or a board game you often get feedback pretty quickly and you can learn. In the more complex world of work (or life or relationships) it is easy to miss a cue and still have the world seem to function as it should.
In theory though, a good coach or a great leader should notice things and be surprised by them and become curious, not leaping to a solution but seeking to learn more or even just sitting with the observation for a while.
So here is what surprised me recently that was very intriguing. Something I did not see, but an example of someone seeing something unexpected and doing more that going back to check messages.
I catch the train to work and if I saw a bird in the carriage I would assume it was distressed and needed help.
I did see a bird in on the train a year ago and decided not to rescue it, perhaps it was fear of mild social embarrassment if I started chasing it around. But mostly I assumed it would find its way and I doubted my prowess at bird recues on moving vehicles.
So seeing a bird on a train was a surprise. But more recently I saw this article about 2 specific birds that catch my train. Apparently they regularly commute between Lindfield and Artarmon.
Perhaps in search of better bugs or fruit to eat, or perhaps because they found a good jazz club I haven’t heard of. The cause is a mystery.
Hypothesis one – This is a great coaching story where a reporter observed two birds patiently sitting down and then leaving. Being curious he spoke to people who told him it was happening on a regular basis. A great analogy for how a coach should notice something and become curious. His initial conclusion is that they are regular commuters and his key discovery is that the birds always travel between the same two stations.
My question is how they know which station to get off at. But also what on earth are they commuting for? I though birds flew from place to place.
Anyway a follow-up in another news site questioned the hypotheses that they are commuting to a destination. Speaking to experts rather than people with lived experience revealed the theory that they are on the train to eat. They get on and off at the same stations because that is (I assume) how long it takes to process the carriage and they know to go back toward home on the next one.
So the people in the local system observe the birds and tell the story that the birds are commuting, maybe recognising the human words Artarmon and Lindfield. The experts hear the story and based on their expertise they formulate the theory that the birds are feeding and not commuting.
I sat blissfully unaware, either never being in the same carriage at the same time as the birds, or not seeing them. But even the locals and the experts are making sense of it all from their frame of reference.
I don’t know the real reason, but its a great example of casual, unexpected journalism and also of what you might see if you observe the place you are in rather than get stuck being busy or rushing from action to action.
Links
Original video:
Follow up by another curious reporter:
James King 