James King

I hear a lot about how leaders should show vulnerability in order to create psychological safety and an open, learning culture.

I agree that we as leaders (and humans) will get better results from people when we are authentic, human and willing to admit we are flawed. I also agree that when in a position of authority it is good to be the one who goes first in sharing a willingness to learn, a willingness to admit being wrong and in particular to be open and clear when we fall short of our own expectations.

So it seems odd that this is not the advice I gave someone this week. So I pondered what I said and it helped clarify my own view.

What I actually said was that it was good to demonstrate competence and the ability for people to rely on your first.

What I meant was slightly more nuanced:

• Showing openness and transparency is good, but this needs to be balanced by demonstrating that people can trust and rely on you.
• Trust is formed when people understand what you stand for and have confidence in what you say and do.
• So if you want to lead people then the first things to do are to demonstrate that you can be trusted.
• When you are trusted then you can extend that trust by showing vulnerability and authenticity. Indeed errors that you can admit to and correct will build the trust.

But if people do not know what you stand for or whether you will deliver on what you commit to, then you should build trust by being clear and by delivering something.

If you don’t have trust and you start making multiple mistakes or second guessing yourself too much then you need to be aware that you are likely undermining the trust you are seeking to build, even if you admit you are aware of being unclear or falling short of what you expect of yourself.

So be vulnerable but also try to be clear and effective before saying “I want to show you how vulnerable I am”.

Just as importantly, I think some leaders show some vulnerability and then expect quid pro quo from followers and peers. I think it comes off as a power play to ask others to be vulnerable around you, especially before you demonstrate what you expect from them or give them a chance to share what they think and show their ability.

In short I guess I would say – share your vulnerability and invite others to be open and authentic (but not vulnerable) after you establish some trust and not as an opening move in building a relationship as a leader.

At least that is my view – I am completely open and vulnerable to being wrong :) … or should I say open to learning why you have a different perspective but reasonable confident in my own current view.