James King

I have long believed that we confuse the outcome with the plan or the intent.

An example is when we make a decision and then see the outcome. We assume that:

• If we got a good result, then we made a decision. Yet sometimes we make a dubious decision and get lucky. My not preparing for a meeting and then not getting called on for an update is lucky, not evidence that my lack of preparation was wise; or
• If we get a bad result we think we made a bad decision. Yet often we make decisions in an uncertain world. My decision based on the best evidence I have can be a good decision, based on what I knew.

But recently I have been thinking about the old saying that “we judge ourselves on our intentions and we judge others on their actions.”

I think there is a real danger in ambiguous or challenging situations that we might do what we think is our role, or what we think is needed, based on the right intention.

That in itself is good, but there are too potential gaps here:

• We might assume that others knew our intentions and then be surprised at what they do. Yet if we took more time to understand we might actually learn that:
  • They have no idea why we did the specific thing we did, or more likely why we did not do something else; and
  • Rather than just be confused they might manufacture an intention for us and assume we wanted to, say, avoid work, or meet a KPI without actually creating value.
• We might assume that others will know what to do next and that they will come back and tell us if there is a gap or nuance we need to address. But if we took the time to check in with them we might learn that:
  • They just left things sitting where they were, waiting for us to do more or assuming we were going to do something; and
  • Rather than coming to talk to us, they waited until things became and issue and then started explaining why they thought everyone was waiting for us.

You could say the issue is a communication one, or that this is a product of everyone being too busy to focus on one thing at a time. I sometimes actually think it is a lack of clarity around the goal, the priority of different outcomes in a complex world or even a lack of a feeling of agency and empowerment to organise groups to work together.

What ever the cause is, confusing intention, action and outcome is a source of angst and demotivation in many large groups of people.

Yet the solution is not too complex, beyond having the headspace and presence to notice when things are not coming together, or the outcome seems incomplete.

If we can actually pause during the day to wonder “does this make sense?” or “What makes me believe that these other people are on the same page as me here” then we will often be able to flush out the confusion before too many assumptions become snide comments, frustrations or avoided conversations.