James King

I have never been a president before (and never will be). Nor do I ever publish my political views because I think sharing views in a wide audience without context results in more misunderstanding than collaboration and learning.

But I was pondering on the recent US Presidential debate and the comments I have seen since, noting some lessons I can apply.

Don’t keep explaining things

Communication is good and overcommunication is generally a good idea. But I got some advice from a long term friend when I was at University and I think it applies to high-stakes communication about dropping the ball, facing a crisis and related times.

My friend was giving advice on what to do if someone asks “does this dress make me look fat?” or when you say something dumb like “He is looks like a real leader – he is very tall, oh I didn’t mean you are short.”

In these cases his advice was to say “oh, where did I leave my other shoes?” and then seem very preoccupied with finding them, resulting in not being able to add more to the conversation you just bumbled. Essentially the advice was to stop digging a whole for yourself.

This came to mind when I noticed a lot of conversation about President Biden after the debate. I heard that “He ended well”; that “it is about the last 3 years, not the last 45 minutes” and then “it was due to a lot of travel and being tired”.

Each of these seems to me to be potentially true but really to be a case of digging a hole but continuing to draw attention without really addressing the core issue.

Hopefully I won’t be trying to win over voters in such a high stakes situation, but for me the lesson is to avoid reassurance that aims to minimise something or reassure yourself rather than your audience.

It is also a case of “walking into their frame”, which in conflict management means to take on their talking points and give more air time to them. This is only successful if you can quickly address some legitimate concerns, rather than trying to communicate a complex or controversial perspective.

Apologise authentically if needed

I am not sure if this is the case where anyone needs to apologise but in similar situations the longer you leave something out there, the worse it gets (Optus data breach, Getting a customers payment wrong, Realising you accepted expensive gifts when you are a judge).

When I have bungled things I have made the error of explaining them logically – setting out the causes and what I see as the impacts. But I have found this does not actually work.

If you fall short of your standards or someone’s expectations then it is better to quickly ackhowledge that fact, which I guess Biden has done.

You should accept that it was wrong but also focus the explanation on the other person rather than yourself – eg I am sorry to disappoint you, I know YOU were depending on a good outcome and this impacted YOU this way.

You should also show that you have either learned or that you will make good or that you will perform a penance – not just brush it aside.

Focus on core principles not side shows

I have found that people quickly forgive things that are not core to a commitment or expectation you have set. But they are very concerned when a core commitment or expectation is dropped.

For example a tv comedian could get away with explaining to their fans that they were having multiple affairs, but a leader that was proposing clear family values could not. An IT developer could totally suck at presentations but should never ignore security issues and then see preventable disasters unfold when they knew what they should have done.

Leaderships is when you don’t put the boot in

There is an old saying from somewhere that “when someone is down, the first thing they should see is your hand reaching out, not your boot coming down”.

I doubt it is in Trump’s DNA to show kindness to Biden, but for the rest of us these are the times that differentiate leaders from people who just want to be leaders.

That does not always mean supporting someone who is saying something against you and then bungles, but it does mean acknowledging their effort and then moving back to your key issues.

When one is wrong the other is not necessarily right

Similarly I guess, I want to support leaders who keep moving forward rather than coming back repeatedly to the same point scoring. What seems to work in politics in but the USA and Australia does not build coalitions, it reinforces tribes.

Similar to how I have seen Trump supporters claim Biden is not fit for the role, I would rather hear a leader refocus on their own vision, or reflect on what they can also do to improve.

Certainly, having fact checks show you were not telling the truth is not the way to win my support.

So for me the lesson is to be ready to recover and to keep looking forward, rather than to focus on the mistakes of others.

So that is my view of recent politics – we can watch others and see behaviours that might not be visible in ourselves, or we can watch others and reflect on how we can respond to challenges.